The corpse of a templar

I was foolish to think
That something so old and so strong
could be defeated in a few mere hours.

His legacy haunts me.
His tendencies laugh at me
I have seen his shadow darken my every step

I am stronger than he ever was
Patience and persistence were his virtues
Such are games I hate to play

I will find you.
Hiding amung my dreams
I wonder if Rosa...

No, such thoughts are for the old gods.
We are remade from them.
And old idea, made new.
Gods of the earth

Not of heaven
Not of hell

Mortal gods.
Olympus stands empty.
Vanaheimr sits empty
Asgard stands silent.

The war was a terrifying one
The survivors walk silently
through their mortality
one life to the next

Immortal in their Mortality
The lost wait unknowingly
The old gods dwell
Cuthulu sleeps

Yet we are new.
The old reforged
The first of perhaps
none

My old friend, where have you been.

Those eyes
endless blue
cold, and resolute
the eyes of a gunslinger i reckon

I haven't seen you
since the plans first formation
since after the fall

Where have you been?
Hiding? no, its not in your nature
Waiting? perhaps
patience always was your virtue

Old dear friend
dear demon
We are on the path
out of these wastelands
Pain our unfaltering guide

Come a la come ka
The gun and my precious rose.

The Rose, A promise, and the Moon

And there we sat
Our spot of spoils
A flagon of ale
And the music of life

Few words of meaning
Simply joy and laughter
Songs poured forth from our lips
into the sky illuminated by the moon

Toiled we did
a task so jubliant
and in thatmoment
a truth was spoken
a truth was returned

And a promise was made
The last lock upon the beast's cage
would be left undone

My god
i am whole

Like a river it flowed

A dam burst
A river had flooded
the truth
the secrets
The unholy whole of it all

Flowed forth
unbridaled
unrestrained
unfiltered
and uncensored

The rose shown forth
understanding and compassion
The question was raised
a question long pondered

Why the amaranth
was not where it *should* have been
the truth was in song
running away forever more
so there we sat

alone and dark
united by truth
by desire
lips loosened

That old tale
spun again told to friends over a flagon of ale
The demon's pride
The guardian's virtue

Gan my old friend
I release you
Forever
Go your way
Be free
Guide your life as you see fit

The amaranth is safe
Your job secured
your freedom, earned.

In flames I release you
Most powerful of the three
may your world be free
and good

as my secrets unfolded
The rose it listened
of stories long past
of sins long commited
of a past long buried

Like cars they fly
in a highway on the sky
to and fro
they swim and sing
They crash, and sting.

I hate you all
You sheep and swine
Your ignorance of the world
Your blindness to its flaws.

I hate you all.
I envy you more.
I hate what I can not have.

And the tyrant!
Oh yes dear you have a title.
My only grudge
my only anger
stems not from betrayal
but from besting me.

Your betrayal
was sooner than my own.
However if you count the lies
The cheats
And the thrills
I still won
beat you by a year
suck that you tyrant
may you die in hell.

The rose she shone!
For once it listened
willing and eager
My flaws
my sins
laid bare

Forgiven
salvation
the queen of swords
she was wrong
one of us had to be

I'm glad it was me.

Dreams of Death

I find it kind of funny
I walk this line
in these dreams of which im dieng
Are the most fun i've ever had

The demons haunt me
The queen of swords laughs
Rule 3# even contradicts it's self

The templar laughs in his grave
While I am left
Confused
and lost

The plan
The plan
BY GOD THE PLAN
I nearly forgot

I hate this world
I hate this fate
May the cycle break
and it meet it's fate.

A test, or a threat

Fate is fickle
Fate is funny
These things they test us
They threaten us

Old enemies
Old grudges
A sleeping army
A scorned queen
No swords or blades with this one
But red and spiders

Crimson perhaps
Todash it may seem
Somewhere my army sleeps
If this was an attack

Nemo me impune lacessit

And that my dear ellis.
Is a fact.

Sky Ablaze

Together we sat
As the sky was set ablaze
The clouds mocked the fire
And mired it with haze

So we left
to venture forth
and see what secrets
we could unveil

And there they were
Bare and stark
the Rose
a petal faded

But suddenly
without warning
Life found a way
And sprang forth

No longer a memory
a dream of what could be
the truth unveiled
A regret
No longer mourned

And in that moment
I gave that Rose something
Something sacred
something special

And the two became one.

Wispered no longer

It was wispered
Hushed
it was fragile
delicate
like the petals on a Rose

We two said it to ourselves
rarely outloud

But amidst the destruction
and deception
where the sentinels failed us
and the guardians left us

The truth came out
not wispered
but stated
a fact

Unprovoked and uncoerced
that most dangerous of phrases
was unleashed
with up most confidence

The truth can set you free or so it is said
We are free.

Poseidon's Challege

I remember that
that feeling
That comfort

In a place where I have no reason to be
No place to be had
I was once at home

For years I had forsaken it
Forgotten its sweet embrace
it's crushing power
It's tender touch

Trial by fire
Death or life
Sink, or swim

Only way to regain what I had
Go until I could not go any more
then go a little farther
Knock on death's door
Tell him g'day

*Insert post here*

I want to post something long cryptic and well, annoyingly hard to figure out.

But the simple truth is better

Life is good my friends, Life is good.

A Fairy Tale Reality

Can such a thing be real?
Flawed and scarred it sat
Honest and truthful
My heart full of compassion
As the shame rolled off like sweat

But I saw the weight be lifted
The relief it gained
It's strength, renewed

Together we sat
And the timeliness
of that device so perfect
ensnared us

No stars in the sky
But in the eyes they shown
Universes and possibilities
Countless and wonderful

That Rose so perfect and beautiful
Grown even through the toughest of soils

Surely this can't be real
A dream
A fairy tale
Come-a-la come ka

Truth from a Rose

I was honest
I the words were true
I know in my heart
They are true

The tower be damned
This is the way
Follow the beams
Not to the tower
but to the Rose

And the Rose spoke to me
its words
its song
were the same.

War with the queen

I gave him a task
I gave him a sanctuary
I gave him a blueprint

He corrupted a god
Tore down the walls
Broke the templar
I believe it was a ruse

Not to fight the queen
but to fight the templar
and that night
he burned with the fury of a thousand suns
And the world was gone

But that hag
That webspinner
She still lurks

We still do not trust her
Somewhere
An army sleeps.

The Web of Fate

It was once said,
No fate,
No fate but what we make.

Logic dictates such thing
Every beginning has an end
Every end, has a beginning.

But the difference
The point
The reason
Is who makes that fate?

Do we humans in our arrogance
Actually have control over our own lives?
Are we guided by a higher power who has a plan
if we are guided by a higher power, why bother?

Who is to say we shouldn't just
Sit down, take a nap
Stop caring.

But we dont
we strive
we crave
We create
We destroy

No fate but what we make
I want to know who is this we?

The Tower and the Rose

The King wrote of such things
As did the poet before him
The two that stood
In the center of all

That tower
And that eternal Rose
I wonder now
Can such things exist

One time yes I truly thought so
The tower at the end of that path
Long and painful
And the empty salvation it would bring.

But now I have seen the Rose
The countless possibilities contained within
Life, the universe, and everything

I wonder though
Does ka take me to the tower?
Or that wonderful Rose

Wispered

Studied I have.
The countless flaws and quirks
We humans possess

I have uncovered power
Dangerous and volitile
The ability to push, control and convince
But there was always
A line

A phrase I swore
Would never be uttered in vain.
 Would never be used to harm
To kill or maim

It was sacred
Special
Protected.
I swore to guard it
To only use it when I meant it.
When It needed said.

And today it slipped though my lips
uttered under my voice
unintended
it was heard
Laughed off
covered up

and I drove
To desolation
To be alone
To ask myself

Why I had done such a thing
Unleashed such a terrible weapon
On such an innocent person
Such beauty and perfection

and then
Solemn and quiet
The truth fell upon me
It staggered my balance
broke my stride

It was true.
The tower and my Rose
It was true.

The Dreams, they cometh

Ages they were silent
Still and devoid
Empty nothingness
Todash they were

Now they swirl
spin and pulse
Vibrant and alive
Something has awoken

It yearned to be free
To live again
risen from the dirt and muck
it now spreads its wings

Like a phoenix from the ashes
My dreams flood my mind
Their meaning is unknown
Their purpose is random

But again I dream
By god, I Dream!

Thor Approves

For ages I suffered
Burdoned by the weight of the world
A weight I had chosen to carry alone
Companions I have had
Friends, Advisors,
Amaranths and Demons
In an instant
It was lifted

And I saw
This battle
This struggle
I was not alone
That there were others
And I had found one

And Thor's thunder sounded in approval.

We

We stand in the shadows
Alone we stand
The multitude of solidarity
We are legion
And legion is many
Yet legion is one
The one who can move a mountain
The many who cry out in a thousand voices
We are legion

Secrets Untold

Before your banishment
I was going to leave you.

You never had me
not all of me.

I called a name into the
blackness one night
She answered.

There was no long line that night.

I didn't forget those days, I didn't care.

I regret only that I am nice.

She didn't only invite me to the play that day in the rain.

I am a hypocrite. And I'm ok with that.

I made the bond that binds us, I wish I could undo it.

I know your game, I decided to play it better than you.

I know you love,
Yes I know you told me
But I know how much
And I know you want me to use it against you

I could have saved you, I chose not to
But told everyone i could not.

I love you dearly
But I plan to leave you behind
and never look back

I know how i got those scars.

It was not my first time.

I would snatch your angel away from you in an instant.
And I've only met you once. It's not personal.

Your angel would leave you if i asked her to.
But I'm to nice. That may change.

You didn't do it. I set you up.

The reason i never liked you
is because for a long time
I thought you were better
Really you're an idiot.

I wish to know your blessing.
But I refuse to deviate
Dumb, I know.

I would be torn between the grace
And the damnnation
Dumb, I know.

I did need help, I lied.

That night, i did what i said i would
and claimed i didnt

I tracked the miles you traversed.
I knew you lied.
I let you.

Your sisters knew.

I know you will suffer.
Your to stubborn not to

I told you the truth
you told me i lied
I laughed it off

Id give it up for you
All of it

I never stopped practicing
Never.

Random bits of my personal philosophy

Here's a bit of thought for you, get in your car. Now go for a drive. What do you see? Do you see the wheel? The instrument panel? The gearshift? The road? Of course you do. Well except that last part. You don't see the road, not really anyway. What you see is the windshield, you simply trust that the windshield does not lie to you.

Think about that for a minute and apply it to your life. Our windshields are made dirty by our religion, our beliefs, our politics, our life experiences, our role models. Can you really trust your windshield to tell you the truth? If not I suggest you buy some windex.


I do not believe in Intelligent design. Nor do I believe in Evolution.
I believe in Intelligent Evolution, go back re-read Genesis, it lays out the big bang theory right there. Promise.

Science is a force for good, just because science frightens and scares you, it's no reason to be a bitch about it.

Ignorance is not bad. The unwillingness to become educated is.

If your unhappy with your life, your entire life. Then shake it up and see where the pieces fall its not rocket science.

Rules exist for a reason, and the reason they exist is the important part, not the rule it's self. So go break a few rules if you've got to, just find out why they are in place first.

The why is actually a big deal, what someone does is always dictated by the why of their doing. Please Learn the why before you judge.

If it feels wrong, it probably is.

If it feels right, make sure your not drunk.

If you say you don't care, You're a liar.

We never "get over" anything, we just build over top of it.

When it comes to religion, Faith is the important part not religion. Your catholic? Yay for you. Your Muslim? Yay for you. Your Jewish? Yay for you. They all worship the same god(and if you don't believe that your retarded). Forget the name, believe in the Faith.

That's all for now toodles.

Things done for reasons past

You will never know
The things i have done
The reason for their doing
And the guilt they have caused

With a heavy heart i did these things
With a heavy hand I slamed those doors
Burnt those bridges
Left no return

The reasons will stay unknown
The purpose unseen.

When you have done something right
It doesn't look like you have done anything at all

The name long forgotten

I have wondered
What it was
Who i am
Before the break
Before the fall
Before the Z
Before the He
Before that templar came to power

I know the what
But not the who
I wonder endlessly
The who


The who

Message Recieved.

I got your message. I know your reading this.

Here is my response.

Nemo me impune lacessit.

I know your there

I hear you,
i see you
When i relax
you do your thing

Vigilance must be maintained
You are a bastard
And I hate you
Your reasons
Your plans

I know my fate
It is a curse
I spoke the words
and i wished i had died

Tell me then
almighty one
why me
why must I be the one
To carry this burden

Surely someone else
can do it
I hate being what i am

And pride binds me
not to quit

Burn the pain

And there I sat
In that sacred place
That place of wonder
That place of death.

Eager and anxious
Impatient as always
I did it
I used something
I swore i would not

As the fire raced through my body
I felt it
I felt the fade weaken
The walls break down
the bindings, unbound.

Free and safe
Sound and strong
Born of darkness
and of fire

It burns.

Valadation

It would seem
Im not the only one who sees it
these changes
These... improvements.
They are obvious
They are outward

My mind is not fooling me.
The man I see staring back at me
Is who I thought him to be
He is the one that existed before.

Before the darkness
Before the pain
Before the suffering
Before the fall.

My work.
My endeavors.
My struggle
Was not in vain

I am as i should be

For that most perfect of flowers

For ages you have shown
through the thick and thin
Always there
A beacon
A hope

A silver thread
upon which I clung
in my darkest of days

I've been unfair to you
Expected to much
For this I am sorry

But there is just to much
For time to erase
you know it
As do i.

And for this my Amarath
I dedicate this to you
For all you've done for me.
I owe you my life.

Endeavouring Endlessly.

I was right.
I'm proud of that.
It's easier now
Than it's ever been.
The method.
The process.
The idea.
The Insanity.

I was right.
And it makes me happy.

For the Fae

Long ago
I saw something
I saw duality
In its purest form
Sweet
Simple

It's simple really.
Your evil intentions.
Your innocent desires.
Two people.
One mind.
Beautiful

Those like us
We know things.
We keep secrets.
We weave webs.

The world is something
in which we play
In which we find the tools
To destroy ourselves.
Because lets face it.
They simply arn't up to the task.


Im talking to you my dear.
My wonderful vulture.
My queen of swords.
This one is for you.

Sigils on the wall

There we stood
with a canvas before us
they had done immature things
My ideas
Were bigger

So I took them
Those three
And inscribed them
Put them somewhere other than my grimoire
In a place abandoned
Forgotten.
 Save for the unfortunate few

We left, and in a moment of blindness
I left a bit of myself there
To stay in that forgotten place
To wonder those forgotten halls
 

The road

Racing down the road
It seemed as glass
The heat
The haze
As i would imagine a Thinny

The words rang in my head
I wondered their intended meanings
And applied the lessons to my own life
Your heroes are not my heroes

The story of my life will be an interesting one i think
Maybe I'll write a book when I'm done
More likely they will write them for me.

A case study.

The Plan

Its simple
Yet complex
So many parts
So little time
So much work
so little room

But The reward
will not be the reason for the doing.
It is the doing
In which we find the reason

And my reason is good
Sound
Wonderful.

Questions. Answers.

I was guided
By the two
I created

To find something
To learn something
They felt I should know.

This is not the first time they have done such a thing.
Nor will it be the last
It is their job
To seek the things that can not be sought

And the answer was
Liberating.
I now have faces to go with names.
And i have done the damning
Way it find its way

They will take it
And bring it to your door
And the work shall be done

Nemo me impune lacessit

The Resurrection of things best left untouched.

Time is coming.
Time to kick it up.
Time to resurrect the things I left dead and burried

So long ago
Before the fall
I swore it all off
It gave him power

But he is I
And I am he
Time to reclaim
To resurrect

Shed this shell
Shed this mask
Burn it all away

Until the day I die.

Gnosis, everlasting.

This feeling is
Supreme
Free
Whole
Untouched

I've got it now I think
the key to this whole thing
To undo the mind
To unbind the concious

I
Am
Free.

Today. An interesting set of events.

After work today i decided to hang with a friend of mine. We take a walk. As we are walking a kid approaches us and asks us if we've got any weed. Upon our resounding answer of No he asks if we, "Rolled with the juggalos"

I Facepalm right in front of him.

Further down the road we find a squatter's den. And smash the bread.

After the walk we decide to ride around town. We drive past Hobby Lobby(a local craft store) He remarks, "Dude there are always nice bitches in Hobby Lobby!" I Look at him and say, "Challenge Accepted."

It was closed.

Deprived

Here i am,
Willingly deprived
time seems to slip by

It is fun
No Sleeping-Awake this time
I wonder how many of those I left scattered

Tomorrow will be a day.
And another the day after.
I tire of this.

So far from home.

It was raining.
So far from home
I waited for you
I don't remember why
But i did

I stood there
in the shadow of the building
Then she came

I never knew her name
But she was busy
burdened.

I watched as she carried them
Boxes lots and heavy
So i lent a hand

at the end of it
she gave me something
Something i've never spoken of

I should have accepted it.
and left you there.
in that building.
So far from home.

Stormbringer

The rain was his,
the dead mans.
The Snow was of Z
And the night was mine.

He screams from the grave
in futile attempts to return
But rain is water
And water is fine.

Let the storms come
Let the thunder sound
Let the lightning strike
I shall not falter

Do your worst dead man.
A dead thing can go with the stream
But only a living can go against it.

VIsions of a futures and a present

As i stood there in the sun and heat
I saw something
a glimpse of my future.
A whole lifetime ahead of me
My fate

Then I saw something else
something recently could have been
A trivial task
a meaningless day
but it was different

I realized then
i was seeing my life as it could have been
and what it now was

I know now the feeling
Achilles had when he set off to troy

On this faithful perch

I sit here
upon this faithful perch
Wondering what solace it once brought me

In the dead of night i ask or guidance
A stranger in a familiar place
a guest in my home


I wanted this
to feel unwelcome
a burdon
to speed my departure

This is merely a step
a place to rest my head
before i set out on the great unknown

The smoke fills my face
and i gain nothing from its embrace
in the embers I see beauty.
the death of something
the birth of something new

This is the right path.
And it will not be easy.
I shall not sleep easy any more.

Setting the kindling

the plans are set
The actions are in motion
The fire is sparking
I feel it for the first time in ages
I see it in my face
I see it in my hands
I feel it in my step.

The inferno is brewing
The kindling is being gathered
The fire will come
And cleanse this life.

Drawings of a distant past

I found it while cleaning
While i set the kindling
The pictures jumped out from the page
My horrific art

But in style and meaning
I could never draw an event,
but always an emotion

My emotions are not
for the weak of heart

And i see now the length of the fall.

The fall

Its meaning is whole.
Its reason understood
its power
felt.

I am afraid it took to long
Not the two years i had though
but 7

heh. there is that number
so divinely ordained.
I must wonder about the Nine and Teen
but those numbers are for a King

Jung you bastard

For ages I wondered about your theories
your meanings.
They somehow managed to escape me


He hid them to keep me blinded
So I could not see why it was so
I wondered for ages
and let it tear my life apart
a life that needed torn apart.

But then years later it persisted
I get it now.
I understand the meaning there.

But tell me my dear doctor.
explain to me
The mystery of Z

That dream.

The Dream!

I know her face.
Why it seemed so familair.
She found me
That demoness.
In that dream she came to me.

It was when things started to expire.
I accepted her embrace
And in that moment they conspired
I see now the workings of their plan
Or at least so i think

I am rooting for the demons.
Heres to you my old enemy
my old friend.

May you succede in your plans.

Mine suck.

Sweet dreams

Vague half remembered visions.
Sweet and terrible
Endless ecstasy
and ceaseless torment

He enjoys the dreams
Perhaps to much
I think i know his plan
His scheme.

He is a devious creature.
He has not regard for the rules
But then the rules gave birth to the templar
They are bad rules.

I believe i know his plot.
I shall let him do it.

Remember remember
The fifth of november
The gun powder treason and plot
I can think of no reason
Why the gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.

words like poison

The demoness.
Her words sit in my mind
Perhaps she is right
She always was a queen of swords.

To see something I neglect to see
To tell me the truth when I deny it
She will survive the coming inferno

The words sit here
Like poison they eat away at a part of me
And I let them
Because a part of him has returned
the templar stirs in his grave

But I shall not let such a thing return
He is dead
We killed him.
On an abandoned road he fell
Cold and alone

I have pissed upon his grave.
And never mourned his passing.


The demoness her words ring true.

Damn you Fae. Damn you to hell.

I know, I'll see you there.

An old plan made new again

A relic
From the fall.
A plan
A hope

Once forgotten
Now found.

Anold idea made new again.


I must set the kindling.

Super Heroes

Tonight was a good time to see a ghost if ever there was one. A moonless night with thick mist on the ground.

So I went in search of one.
I went to the grave
The site of my death.
And wondered if he would return.

I stood there, asking answerless questions into the night.
No answers came.
No clues given.
Save one.

I now know the name of the one
Who shares my grave.
I regret that I did not know you in life.
We probably wouldn't have been friends though.
Im kind of an ass.

But this is for you Angela
A person of which I know nothing.
Only that you were unfortunate enough not to walk away from that place.
That nexus of power.

The site is astonishing.
Unremarkable at day,
Mystifying at night.
It is where the templar died.
Where Z broke his chains.
And where I was born.

Unity.

Shattered we stood.
Separate but equal.
I, gentle and kind
Stood steward of the world of light.
He, twisted and vile.
Stood silent in the dark.

For ages we fought
Worlds burned from our wrath.
I can tell you what happens when the unstopable force
Collides with the immovable object.
Madness my friends, madness.

For a while we reveled in madness.
Held close it's blissful irresponsibility
But He was never content.
Never happy.
Hunger, unstated.

He found a way.
Stole the fire from heaven.
Corrupted a god.
And He returned with a vengeance.

Not for me, but for The Templar.
I was blinded by madness and could not see.
Another had taken control.
And had created a life.
We did not want.

So I let him fight.
And fight he did.
With the furry of a thousand suns he blazed.
And among the ashes we stared at each other.

Then the demoness.
She came, lustful and tempting.
We saw in her, what had been in us.
And we knew what had to be done.


I am no longer We.
There is no longer a Z.
No longer a Me.

I am New.
Or perhaps I am Old.
But I am Whole.
And I Am One.

Freedom

I have thought for a long time on the concept of freedom. Freedom in life, freedom in death.

We are slaves to the circumstance of our lives.
These circumstances determine our outcome.
Our nature
Our fate

But what if we were to dictate the circumstance of our lives?
To be free in our own fate.
To be free in our own death.
But life has a way of fucking with our heads.
Chaos throws the unexpected
and Order throws the logical
And our fate is no longer our own

Can we ever be free?
Is our fate written into our genes?
Can we stop our fate?

And what If you see your fate and accept it.
To break it would be to cause pain and suffering to all you know
but to accept it is to endure hell
To wade into the inferno in search of your beatrice

To glance back after your journey
only to see your Eurydice vanish.

And the gods laugh at we foolish mortals.

To kill a templar.

Zealous, and mighty they stand.
Sure of their holy writ.
Steadfast in their blind dedication.
They are not inherently evil.
In fact they are formed with only the noblest of intentions.
But their power corrupts.
They cage the demons of our lives.
They cage our true selves.

And in their wake they leave only the dead and dieing.
Forgive me my love for doing what I must.
I won't let you die.
Even if that means sacrificing myself.
I promised to protect you and I have done it.
This last act of love.
This last act of devotion.

May your templar die.
May your vanity wither.
May your demon be free.
May she glide on wings of harmony to be ever free.
I have given you the tools to free yourself.
Alas you have given me the keys to your cage.


But unfortunately the templar will never let me use them.
But you have the tools to free yourself.
Learn them, use them.
I will hear you calls in the dead of night.
And in that secret place, you will always have sanctuary.

A leap of faith.

I plunged forth into the darkness not knowing what lied ahead.
I had a hope, a mad hope.
And there I sat, waiting. Watching.
With hopes that my hunch might be correct.
And there we sat.
Hidden from the light of day.
Hidden from the thoughts of others.
From the eyes of the world.
And In that moment.
I was right.

Full Circle

I don't even know you.
But I would kill you.
Just on the principle of the thing.
I would kill you and bathe in your blood.
And never bat an eye.
But now I find myself in one of those cold Ironies of life.
We now share a common bond.
Id still kill you though.

Keys be damned.

Forget the keys.
We have forged a new set.
The change is coming.
Its coming faster than I ever predicted.
Few things could stop this.
I see him more and more everyday.
Staring back out of my eyes.
That madman. That Monster.
That Demon.
He may have his day yet.

A dream and the truth.

I dreamt for once, a rarity in my life. And in that dream came to me a truth. A failing. And at first I was hurt. But No. I know what this dream means. It doesn't mean I failed. It means, I won.

The Amaranth and The Demoness.

Two sides of the same coin.
Two sets of keys to the cage.
Both taunt and tease.

The templar tries to return but we stand strong.
UntilI have a set of those keys, I may never be free.

I see you in that mirror.

I see you.
You think I dont see you?
Standing there looking out.
I can see your end game.
I know your moves.
And for the first time since the fall.
I agree.

Wounded

These wounds. i have seen them before.
Their origins always baffled me.
But now Im causing them. I know how i got them.
But I still wonder what gave them to me all those years ago....
Was it... could... no. Impossible.

Evil

Well there it goes.
My passing on of this curse.
The spreading of this evil.
Godspeed my love.
May its manifestation be easier on you.

May the Templar die.

Repetition Is Hell.

It came to me in a dream.
There I stood facing the flame.
As it came I found a seam.
Through it I escaped only to find my self with such despair.

The invader I had chained was no demon.
He was me the me I would become.
I would resist his warnings and teaching in an attempt to remain a free man.
And I stood caged in my cell waiting for the time when I could change.

A time that would never come it would seem..
And when the storm came again.
There I stood watching myself vanish into the seam.
Leaving the demon to fight the end.

After all it was his purpose. Why he came.

Train Tracks

As I lay there three miles from home, in between a set of train tracks while staring at the nearly full moon. I ask, "Why am I even here? What is this supposed to teach me?" I waited for an answer none came. And So I waited, in the back of my head the mad hope came that I would be struck by one of those Iron behemoths. Unfortunately I was not that lucky. I finished off my cigar and tossed it into the water. And began my lengthy trip home. Not a quarter of a mile into the trip my leg cramped up and in the face of the pain I put on my mp3 player. And realize the song it started on auto play was a damned good summary of my life. The last few verses in particular.

(I) I am the one
(The one) Who sold his soul
(His soul) Forever gone to be the
Last Man Standing

Seeing clearer what I've done
I'd refuse to let things go
I could never once admit I'm wrong
And what do I have to show?

Seeing clearer what's at stake
And the things I have to change
I just hope I can, it's not too late
To get a chance to end this pain

yeah, pretty much sums it all up. Then i saw my lesson. I found the gift of the night. That I needed to accept myself. because Im probably going to be around for a while. The pain vanished and I continued my trip home.

The dark and the rain

When i set out on tonight's walk I had a bad feeling about the walk. But hey, no risk no gain.


I decided to take a bike path I had seen but never walked. after an hour of walking god knows how far it started to rain, nothing like a little cold rain to really cleanse the mind and body.

So the walk was as a whole enjoyable the strangest part however was looking at the town in which i live from a hidden perspective. At one part it overlooked one of the busier segments of roadways.all the signs, lights and advertisements so obviously(and logically) set to attract customers from the road, but here i was looking at the backs of the storefronts, That nasty unclean and unappealing side of the pleasantries offered by the businesses.

I felt like I should have had some profound revelation from all of this, but in truth my foot hurt. So much for profoundness.

The silence of the night

At the suggestion of a friend I decided to start taking walks to clear my head and get a grip on my life. However, i never cared for walking in the day, it way to hot, to busy, and to loud to clear your head.

So I take them at night.

Have you ever walked down a road at night? Walked through the emptied streets, gazed at the lifeless buildings, swung on a swing in an empty park?

 The feelings is something simply amazing. To not only be alone, but to be a alive when all around you is dead.

Fear is what many would expect, and sure walking down the turning lane of a street with heavy traffic is a tad scary, but to do so when no one is even out that is freeing.

The traditional rules of the day are gone. Who is to look at you and judge? Who is to condemn an act of perceived "strangeness"?

I have learned one thing from my friend the night thus far, there are two kinds of monsters in this world.
Those that hide in the light and lie through their teeth, who will backstab, betray, and gnaw upon your corpse.
And those who stand proud in the dark, true with the world as to what and who they are.
I know where I stand.