Im done with this.
Trying to beat fate
I saw it in a dream
The heat and haze
Of days long past
Of days yet to come
Along that dark and lonely path I must walk
Twards that damnable tower.
Into my false salvation
Into my immortal death.
The Saddest Irony of all
Is that my conflict to deny fate it's victory
will be what assures it's completion.
In this I write my last farewell.
For this night I die.
And the dark pheonix that rises from these ashes
Shall only be me in body only.
Come A La Come Ka.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Those hidden paths.
I am no stranger to your weaving ways.
I am welcomed by your misty shores
In those dark and foggy lands I walk.
As the manni know,
you should be careful when looking for cracks in the world
You may find some.
And slip through, you may be lost to Todash
You may find yourself upon another level of the tower
Haunted by demons, heralded by angels.
I have walked those lands
Seen those shores
I welcome you
As you welcome me
I am welcomed by your misty shores
In those dark and foggy lands I walk.
As the manni know,
you should be careful when looking for cracks in the world
You may find some.
And slip through, you may be lost to Todash
You may find yourself upon another level of the tower
Haunted by demons, heralded by angels.
I have walked those lands
Seen those shores
I welcome you
As you welcome me
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Mourning
In that place he lies
Cold, alone, dead and gone
but i can not seem to cut these ties
Echos of a life long dead
Shelters in a forgotten land
They call, screaming in the night
I face them, dauntless in my decision
steadfast in my conviction
i sit with flame and sword in hand
these wounds bleed and burn
wounds I had long thought healed
On that bus she sat
Kind and sweet
those trinkets
I still treasure
her eyes alight with the fire of hell
her voice the envy of angels
her mind fractured and perfect
those nights shrouded in violence
gunfire and explosions
rockets and swords
I never cheated
my face ablaze with that concoction
my secrets you still keep
your secrets my most valuable possessions
in you i will always confide
in me i will always listen
your eyes
all you had really
i wanted to help you
but i let you fall
your wit was what got me
you could understand
reason and challenge
and now you are my support
in my darkest hours
once we shared much
stories, dreams, promises
but a war was comming
we could never be on the same side
I despised your gods.
hair filled with golden light
teary eyes willed with love
those are what ill remember
those are what ill miss
you let us die
through the thickest of soils you have grown
standing tall and attempting to blossom
you deserve much better than you let yourself have
you always were different
alas it was a burden you were unprepared to carry
And there they are
those bleeding wounds
the aching sores
each is unique
all are bittersweet
in each is a sorrow
Cold, alone, dead and gone
but i can not seem to cut these ties
Echos of a life long dead
Shelters in a forgotten land
They call, screaming in the night
I face them, dauntless in my decision
steadfast in my conviction
i sit with flame and sword in hand
these wounds bleed and burn
wounds I had long thought healed
On that bus she sat
Kind and sweet
those trinkets
I still treasure
her eyes alight with the fire of hell
her voice the envy of angels
her mind fractured and perfect
those nights shrouded in violence
gunfire and explosions
rockets and swords
I never cheated
my face ablaze with that concoction
my secrets you still keep
your secrets my most valuable possessions
in you i will always confide
in me i will always listen
your eyes
all you had really
i wanted to help you
but i let you fall
your wit was what got me
you could understand
reason and challenge
and now you are my support
in my darkest hours
once we shared much
stories, dreams, promises
but a war was comming
we could never be on the same side
I despised your gods.
hair filled with golden light
teary eyes willed with love
those are what ill remember
those are what ill miss
you let us die
through the thickest of soils you have grown
standing tall and attempting to blossom
you deserve much better than you let yourself have
you always were different
alas it was a burden you were unprepared to carry
And there they are
those bleeding wounds
the aching sores
each is unique
all are bittersweet
in each is a sorrow
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
In one moment, an Eternity
As i lay there
Sprawled across that awkward chair
your sweet embrace came to me
And away we went into that wonderful story
A thousand lives we enjoyed
we were immortal in that land
Bliss, pleasure and never annoyed
Alas that eternity was merely a one night stand
In those moments an eternity passed
and the light chased it off
torn from each other despite our hands clasped
I awoke covered in sweat and unable to remember our time, an unfair tradeoff
Sprawled across that awkward chair
your sweet embrace came to me
And away we went into that wonderful story
A thousand lives we enjoyed
we were immortal in that land
Bliss, pleasure and never annoyed
Alas that eternity was merely a one night stand
In those moments an eternity passed
and the light chased it off
torn from each other despite our hands clasped
I awoke covered in sweat and unable to remember our time, an unfair tradeoff
Monday, August 22, 2011
Of Gods and Demons: part one
"They tell stories of the end of the world. Armageddon, Ragnarok, the battle of Good and Evil. If they only knew...."
The sun faded beneath the horizon. The fires now consumed the world. The air smelled of ash, the haze of a ruined world filled the sky. Yet there they stood, alone among the carnage, the wreckage, the death and destruction stood seven figures. Exhausted they raised their swords to the sky and let out a roar that it would seem would crack the sky.
The yell of Dan filled his ears, "YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE!" Slowly he raised his head, the dream wiped from his mind. His consciousness was there but the part of him that controlled his body was still lost somewhere in the astral void of dreamland. His mornings had been like this for what seemed like an eternity.
He rolled out of bed hoping the sudden stop would bring his mind to a more alert state of being. *THUMP* He hit the floor like a sack of potatoes, "Shit...." James thought bringing his arms up to lift him off the floor to which his face was so happily merged. Curious as to the sound of her son hitting the floor from a three foot drop, Jane came into the room, "Oh god!" she exclaimed "Are you alright?"
"Yeah Mom, just trying to wake up." slowly rising to his feet. The fresh cut on his forearm caught Jane's eye, "What happened? to your arm honey?" "It's nothing mom, I don't know how I got it." He said looking at his mattress under which held a secret cache of razors. "Did you clean it?" "Yes mom." "Are you sure?" "I know how to clean a cut mother."
Already late he took no particular hurry in getting dressed. By the time he finally left he was thirty minutes late for school. Today was going to be a bad day.
Mr. Poe's history class was first period, which was good he had finished the week's assignments the previous day and could just sleep. The class ignored James when he slipped through the door. Mr. Poe just nodded and let the it pass without incident. James looked around the room, placed his head onto his desk, and fell asleep.
Next was English, Mrs. Farmer, aka The Dragon. She had earned he nickname from an observation James had after reading Beowulf, her fake gaudy jewelry and vile temperament just fit the name."Has anyone read Romeo and Juliet before?" She asked the class. The class was hell, the over emphasis on Shakespeare was the worst. Sure the man did some good stuff, but he wasn't god. It was time she learned that.
James raised his hand, "I have." "Well then Mr. O'neal, what did you think about it?" the room got quiet. It was rare for James to answer a question outside of history class, his classmates were shocked. "It's about two teenagers who fall in love and then kill themselves when their parents disapprove. It's really dumb when you think about it, also i consider it the genesis of this whole emo fad and quite frankly, emo's should be shot. Given the principle of transitive relation, Shakespeare was an emo and should be shot and ignored, lest his influence taint future generations." If the Dragon could breathe fire, she would have done it then as the class erupted in laughter around her. "You will all do a fifteen page essay on Romeo and Juliet! MLA format! Handwritten! I will need your rough draft and final draft!" She snapped. The laughter subsided and she sat back down at her desk to what James could only figure was plotting ruining the hopes and dreams of orphans.
After writing three pages of his rough draft that really worked the emo angle of Romeo and Juliet it was time for lunch. Thank god time for lunch James though he needed to stretch his legs, and luckily it was pizza day, well whatever it was the school passed off as pizza. After getting his plate and sitting down at "his" table, he liked to play that game with all the clicks in school, sit at "their" table and force them to relocate. Today it was the preppy obnoxious girls he wanted to mess with. Making it to "their" table first he sat down, as they filed out of the cafeteria line he was greeted with snarled faces and rude comments, laughing all the while. It wasn't that James was hated, or disliked, it was that he simply didn't conform. He stuck out like a busted heap at an antique car show. To say he marched to his own drum wasn't giving him enough credit, he marched to his own orchestra, and anytime someone questioned it it simply played louder.
As a result of this he didn't have many friends. He saw this as a benefit though, as the few he had were worth having. Frank and John soon found their way to the new table, "No wonder you can't get a decent girl James you keep pissing them off." John remarked as he sat down. "Well your mother seems to enjoy my company pretty well." James countered with a mouth half full of pizza. "Where's Sarah?" Frank said looking around trying to spot the redheaded she-devil. "FUCK YOU! YOU SON OF A BITCH! I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOUR STUPID COCKSUCKING SELF!" The trio erupted in laughter, Sarah's most recent relationship victim just outlived his life expectancy. She stormed over, stole the slice of pizza from Franks hands and took a bite, "What!?!? Got a Fucking problem?" James was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe and John and Frank were taken aback, this wasn't her normal crazy anger fits, something flared in her eyes. It scared them.
Choking down his laughter James asked, "What did this one do? Be nice?" "I don't want to Fucking talk about it!" "Jesus chill girl, you know we've got your back, well at least I do, these other pussies... I'm not so sure." "Fuck them!" she cried and stormed off leaving them alone. "Well chaps, it would seem I'm on damage control now, make sure she doesn't kill to many people" James stood up and began walking to where he knew Sarah had went to vent. "She won't fuck you man." Frank started "Your a good guy, so you've got no shot." John finished. "Eh, I'm also an idiot."
The sun faded beneath the horizon. The fires now consumed the world. The air smelled of ash, the haze of a ruined world filled the sky. Yet there they stood, alone among the carnage, the wreckage, the death and destruction stood seven figures. Exhausted they raised their swords to the sky and let out a roar that it would seem would crack the sky.
The yell of Dan filled his ears, "YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE!" Slowly he raised his head, the dream wiped from his mind. His consciousness was there but the part of him that controlled his body was still lost somewhere in the astral void of dreamland. His mornings had been like this for what seemed like an eternity.
He rolled out of bed hoping the sudden stop would bring his mind to a more alert state of being. *THUMP* He hit the floor like a sack of potatoes, "Shit...." James thought bringing his arms up to lift him off the floor to which his face was so happily merged. Curious as to the sound of her son hitting the floor from a three foot drop, Jane came into the room, "Oh god!" she exclaimed "Are you alright?"
"Yeah Mom, just trying to wake up." slowly rising to his feet. The fresh cut on his forearm caught Jane's eye, "What happened? to your arm honey?" "It's nothing mom, I don't know how I got it." He said looking at his mattress under which held a secret cache of razors. "Did you clean it?" "Yes mom." "Are you sure?" "I know how to clean a cut mother."
Already late he took no particular hurry in getting dressed. By the time he finally left he was thirty minutes late for school. Today was going to be a bad day.
Mr. Poe's history class was first period, which was good he had finished the week's assignments the previous day and could just sleep. The class ignored James when he slipped through the door. Mr. Poe just nodded and let the it pass without incident. James looked around the room, placed his head onto his desk, and fell asleep.
Next was English, Mrs. Farmer, aka The Dragon. She had earned he nickname from an observation James had after reading Beowulf, her fake gaudy jewelry and vile temperament just fit the name."Has anyone read Romeo and Juliet before?" She asked the class. The class was hell, the over emphasis on Shakespeare was the worst. Sure the man did some good stuff, but he wasn't god. It was time she learned that.
James raised his hand, "I have." "Well then Mr. O'neal, what did you think about it?" the room got quiet. It was rare for James to answer a question outside of history class, his classmates were shocked. "It's about two teenagers who fall in love and then kill themselves when their parents disapprove. It's really dumb when you think about it, also i consider it the genesis of this whole emo fad and quite frankly, emo's should be shot. Given the principle of transitive relation, Shakespeare was an emo and should be shot and ignored, lest his influence taint future generations." If the Dragon could breathe fire, she would have done it then as the class erupted in laughter around her. "You will all do a fifteen page essay on Romeo and Juliet! MLA format! Handwritten! I will need your rough draft and final draft!" She snapped. The laughter subsided and she sat back down at her desk to what James could only figure was plotting ruining the hopes and dreams of orphans.
After writing three pages of his rough draft that really worked the emo angle of Romeo and Juliet it was time for lunch. Thank god time for lunch James though he needed to stretch his legs, and luckily it was pizza day, well whatever it was the school passed off as pizza. After getting his plate and sitting down at "his" table, he liked to play that game with all the clicks in school, sit at "their" table and force them to relocate. Today it was the preppy obnoxious girls he wanted to mess with. Making it to "their" table first he sat down, as they filed out of the cafeteria line he was greeted with snarled faces and rude comments, laughing all the while. It wasn't that James was hated, or disliked, it was that he simply didn't conform. He stuck out like a busted heap at an antique car show. To say he marched to his own drum wasn't giving him enough credit, he marched to his own orchestra, and anytime someone questioned it it simply played louder.
As a result of this he didn't have many friends. He saw this as a benefit though, as the few he had were worth having. Frank and John soon found their way to the new table, "No wonder you can't get a decent girl James you keep pissing them off." John remarked as he sat down. "Well your mother seems to enjoy my company pretty well." James countered with a mouth half full of pizza. "Where's Sarah?" Frank said looking around trying to spot the redheaded she-devil. "FUCK YOU! YOU SON OF A BITCH! I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOUR STUPID COCKSUCKING SELF!" The trio erupted in laughter, Sarah's most recent relationship victim just outlived his life expectancy. She stormed over, stole the slice of pizza from Franks hands and took a bite, "What!?!? Got a Fucking problem?" James was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe and John and Frank were taken aback, this wasn't her normal crazy anger fits, something flared in her eyes. It scared them.
Choking down his laughter James asked, "What did this one do? Be nice?" "I don't want to Fucking talk about it!" "Jesus chill girl, you know we've got your back, well at least I do, these other pussies... I'm not so sure." "Fuck them!" she cried and stormed off leaving them alone. "Well chaps, it would seem I'm on damage control now, make sure she doesn't kill to many people" James stood up and began walking to where he knew Sarah had went to vent. "She won't fuck you man." Frank started "Your a good guy, so you've got no shot." John finished. "Eh, I'm also an idiot."
The Sky of Blue
On those sands and a sky of blueI sit forever longing without you
Your name is exotic
your presence is toxic
Your face is shrouded
your voice is sweet
I long again for when we meet
in that endless sunset after the day has ended
When i close shut my eyes
I'll see you there
we will be free from all these lies
I hate awaking to this nightmare
You see my love
I lay my head down not to sleep
But to be woken up
Your name is exotic
your presence is toxic
Your face is shrouded
your voice is sweet
I long again for when we meet
in that endless sunset after the day has ended
When i close shut my eyes
I'll see you there
we will be free from all these lies
I hate awaking to this nightmare
You see my love
I lay my head down not to sleep
But to be woken up
Sunday, August 21, 2011
A conversation with the Guardians
A day of greatness
A day of joy
but the same story
told again and again
At its conclusion
the light faded
The fun disapated
And I am left
an old man
filled with regret
So I went as is custom
To those grounds
that nexus of power
that site of decay
To summon my demons
to converse with the night
reconcile my uneasy solution
to walk upon the beams
They spoke
their words ring true
that slip i carry
that last resort
that note of death
reassert my position
Reconfirm my haste
forget these distractions
Burn away this fate.
A day of joy
but the same story
told again and again
At its conclusion
the light faded
The fun disapated
And I am left
an old man
filled with regret
So I went as is custom
To those grounds
that nexus of power
that site of decay
To summon my demons
to converse with the night
reconcile my uneasy solution
to walk upon the beams
They spoke
their words ring true
that slip i carry
that last resort
that note of death
reassert my position
Reconfirm my haste
forget these distractions
Burn away this fate.
Set, Dead.
The path is clear
The motive is apparent
The tower it is
The tower it always was.
Distractions I try to find
and wonderful though they are
My goal sits empty
My cup unfilled
The tower is my destiny
The tower is my life.
And in that room upon the top
In which god is said to sit
Do I dare to enter?
for fear of vacancy?
For fear of occupancy?
or for the fear
That I will be staring back upon me.
The motive is apparent
The tower it is
The tower it always was.
Distractions I try to find
and wonderful though they are
My goal sits empty
My cup unfilled
The tower is my destiny
The tower is my life.
And in that room upon the top
In which god is said to sit
Do I dare to enter?
for fear of vacancy?
For fear of occupancy?
or for the fear
That I will be staring back upon me.
Visions of the queen
The visions they emerge
mired in thought
dreams of a day
but always the same
An unfinished war
a scorned queen
a sleeping army
In one i saw victory
they righteous win
damnation in victory
as the crimson i would win.
mired in thought
dreams of a day
but always the same
An unfinished war
a scorned queen
a sleeping army
In one i saw victory
they righteous win
damnation in victory
as the crimson i would win.
The Flood
There they were
Bright and vivid
unyielding and unforgiving
The sanctuaries of a dead man
in them they laughed
they played and sang
their memories taunt
and in there tease is decay
Bright and vivid
unyielding and unforgiving
The sanctuaries of a dead man
in them they laughed
they played and sang
their memories taunt
and in there tease is decay
Friday, August 19, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Those Wings
I remember you
All that time ago
Your white, crippled wings
Beating the sky
Standing defiant against the cosmos
Together we stood
Beaten
Battered
But we stood.
Against Creation we stood.
A fool's crusade
But some things are worth fighting for.
Worth dieing for.
On that count it was right
The Morning Star, so bright.
But I saw his goal.
Our fate was different.
Our choices
Those things freely given
So that the young would not meet our fate.
Cast away.
Sealed in lead.
Radioactive
Toxic.
We strove for our own
Something made
Not given.
To earn on our own merit.
Salvation in our damnation.
The Star chose Hell.
We chose our own.
And were punished even greater than he.
I remember you, my brethren.
On that broken field.
White, crippled wings.
Beating the sky.
All that time ago
Your white, crippled wings
Beating the sky
Standing defiant against the cosmos
Together we stood
Beaten
Battered
But we stood.
Against Creation we stood.
A fool's crusade
But some things are worth fighting for.
Worth dieing for.
On that count it was right
The Morning Star, so bright.
But I saw his goal.
Our fate was different.
Our choices
Those things freely given
So that the young would not meet our fate.
Cast away.
Sealed in lead.
Radioactive
Toxic.
We strove for our own
Something made
Not given.
To earn on our own merit.
Salvation in our damnation.
The Star chose Hell.
We chose our own.
And were punished even greater than he.
I remember you, my brethren.
On that broken field.
White, crippled wings.
Beating the sky.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
The Wildflower
In that place
It grew so strong
So vibrant
So perfect
I lusted for it
Saw in it a symbol
A hope
But it wilted
Withered away
It now sits a shadow
A corpse
I know it's reason for being
Why that flower had to die
I can take nothing from this place
Not the Rose,
Not the Amaranth,
Not the Demoness
Nor any other object over which I lust.
When I leave it stays
It stays, or it dies.
This world is poison to me.
I can no longer breathe it's air.
Drink it's waters.
Enjoy it's beauty.
This is heaven.
And it is forever lost to me.
May god have mercy on my soul
For I will have none.
It grew so strong
So vibrant
So perfect
I lusted for it
Saw in it a symbol
A hope
But it wilted
Withered away
It now sits a shadow
A corpse
I know it's reason for being
Why that flower had to die
I can take nothing from this place
Not the Rose,
Not the Amaranth,
Not the Demoness
Nor any other object over which I lust.
When I leave it stays
It stays, or it dies.
This world is poison to me.
I can no longer breathe it's air.
Drink it's waters.
Enjoy it's beauty.
This is heaven.
And it is forever lost to me.
May god have mercy on my soul
For I will have none.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Can I save my Humanity
Is it worth saving?
Or better to just burn it all away.
Cleanse the world in flames.
Use this as kindling.
Salvation, the Tower.
Damnation, that Tower.
A glutton for punishment.
Penance for sins never committed.
Guilt for wrongs never done.
I know hell.
I have seen it's gates.
Felt the heat of it's flames.
Or better to just burn it all away.
Cleanse the world in flames.
Use this as kindling.
Salvation, the Tower.
Damnation, that Tower.
A glutton for punishment.
Penance for sins never committed.
Guilt for wrongs never done.
I know hell.
I have seen it's gates.
Felt the heat of it's flames.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
A series of thoughts while playing crysis 2.
This is written while drunker than shit playing crysis two.' I will make no attempt to correct my spelling or grammar as it would compramise the integrity of this document.
Bang the drum? Bang your mother!
Why must that cloaked bastard suddenly be behind me when ive emptied 40 shots into his general directions?
I saw you once comming down the satairs I said hellow with a heavy machine gun.
Why does getting shot in the ass make me fly forward like a monkey shot out of a cannon.
where can i find a cannon that shoots monkeys?
"You killed your gf is hot" Bitch was hot when i had one. No not you jenna you fat assed bitch.
Assist my ass i used 40 bullets shooting him!
four corpses on a bed. Epic gang bang guys. to bad your all homos!
Ill show you jamming a radar
Fucking madagascar. Fucking madagascar fuck you!
Bullet magnet! Yes!!!!@!@$#!@ oh wait. that means i got shot...
FUCK YOU BULLETS!
R
Gnades who invteded you! MR t imma kill yosu
Juicemantwo... gay name
Gamma ray strike just for me. im special
wouldnty all souits be maximum if you rREALLY wanted to win?
cloak engaged! Rape timE!
he jsut kept talking in one longe incredbibly unbrooken sentence moving from topic totopivso that no one couldf interuptit was realy quite hipnotic!
Why is pink lemonade so much better?
Jump over one bitch get shot in the back.
In your fov stealin your kills
Ill estabislhs your radar uplink baby. oh yeah!
Bang the drum? Bang your mother!
Why must that cloaked bastard suddenly be behind me when ive emptied 40 shots into his general directions?
I saw you once comming down the satairs I said hellow with a heavy machine gun.
Why does getting shot in the ass make me fly forward like a monkey shot out of a cannon.
where can i find a cannon that shoots monkeys?
"You killed your gf is hot" Bitch was hot when i had one. No not you jenna you fat assed bitch.
Assist my ass i used 40 bullets shooting him!
four corpses on a bed. Epic gang bang guys. to bad your all homos!
Ill show you jamming a radar
Fucking madagascar. Fucking madagascar fuck you!
Bullet magnet! Yes!!!!@!@$#!@ oh wait. that means i got shot...
FUCK YOU BULLETS!
R
Gnades who invteded you! MR t imma kill yosu
Juicemantwo... gay name
Gamma ray strike just for me. im special
wouldnty all souits be maximum if you rREALLY wanted to win?
cloak engaged! Rape timE!
he jsut kept talking in one longe incredbibly unbrooken sentence moving from topic totopivso that no one couldf interuptit was realy quite hipnotic!
Why is pink lemonade so much better?
Jump over one bitch get shot in the back.
In your fov stealin your kills
Ill estabislhs your radar uplink baby. oh yeah!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
And the Tower it is.
I had to try
I had to lose
To try the path to the Rose
But such things are not for us.
The tower it is
And the empty salvation
The honest damnation
The path is set
The beams show the way
I wish things had been different
I'd prefer that field of flowers.
There was once an idea though
I swore it off
Then why do i carry it with me?
Fuck ka.
I had to lose
To try the path to the Rose
But such things are not for us.
The tower it is
And the empty salvation
The honest damnation
The path is set
The beams show the way
I wish things had been different
I'd prefer that field of flowers.
There was once an idea though
I swore it off
Then why do i carry it with me?
Fuck ka.
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