A New Beginning.

How could i have been so blind?

I focused on a fate of a different kind.

Lost the salvation to the darkness of my mind

The light I sought

has been here all along

In foolishness I fought

against a fate that was not mine

and pain we brought 

when below our noses was the sign

free from battle

free from war

finally it is seen

hiding among ruin and damnation

failed we did 

along paths that were not our own

separate we stood

in lives that were not ours

as long as I've toiled against my foe

if this is my fate

then let it be so

she is the light

the hope in which i drown

my soul is not my own

hers it shall stay

and in light we shall bathe

and the darkness be burned. 

despite demons and angels, for her I have yearned.

I used to wonder,
Why was he stronger,

He stood above us, our salvation,
He reveled in our failure,
bathed in our blood,
and laughed at our attempts.

yet still he saved us,
from the heavens he fell,
Covered in ash,
the last in a war long forgotten.

And he saved us,
laughing whilst he stared into hell.

The weight of a thousand souls.

The light once shown bright and warming.

Comforting you in it's gaze, strengthening you.

The world opened up to you and wonder filled your heart.

And it came slowly, calmly, without fear.

The dark came as you took upon your burden of sin. 

One small scar, surely you would survive.

And another blow, take the pain from someone else.

They could not bear their pain so you took it from them.

And again, you gave a piece of yourself away.

Taking upon yourself even more sin.

You sought the light once more, clawing through the darkness.

And it burned you, searing your skin and blinding your sight.

In pain and agony you withdrew, seeking the cold dark.

And in it you found a new strength.

And your sin grew, taking the pain away from all you found.

You grew strong and filling the holes in your soul with sin.
How could one bear the sins of so many?
And again you took their pain, standing tall in the dark.

You craved it finding more to increase your burden.
After forsaking your salvation, you cursed the gods.
And in the darkness made yourself one.

You built legions.
Angels and demons of your own.
Determined to stand at the edge of eternity.
And face all of creation, for the mad hope of turning fate.

My how you have fallen.
was their sin too much?
or did eternity find you as you stood with your back to the abyss?
And in this damnation did you find your victory?

Project R.E.T.H.U.L.E.

Out of the darkness we climbed, saw our quest and had been preparing. Messengers were sent to the three generals of our armies, the message, regroup. Now the six of us stand upon the site of our previous battles. 

We had shaken the pillars of heaven, stolen divinity, marched against cults and burnt everything we touched. From our ashes we saw a goal, not a competition for resources, nor our meaningless battle for supremacy. A far greater enemy was on our door. A Demon, Templar, Sage, Witch, and Broken Knight would never be enough, regardless of our armies, we needed another champion. 

And so we sought out to bring it forth, with knowledge stolen from The Queen we set to work. As merciless and devious as The Demon, as furious and unyielding as The Templar, as wise and cunning as The Sage, as kind and serene as The Witch. Our new champion would be the greatest of all, a force to rival even The Lost Son. 

And The Knight began his work, bearing the weight of such a terrible sin. To defy fate, stand against gods, and cheat death. His profane arts were put to the test and in blood and sweat he inscribed the signs. His soul fractured yet again, He would wonder what must be left of him under his helmet. Far had he come from his days as a peasant boy, stolen his honorable title forged his armor in divinity and tempered it with sin. Perhaps he thought this quest could redeem him in some small measure. 

It was not the glorious battle he craved, there would be no accolades of his success should he win. And he knew in the end his victory would mean no gain for him, the prize he sought was already lost to him. But he worked regardless convinced of his righteousness as his soul shriveled more each passing hour.

The champion began to take form, her hair black as the night, and eyes as red as the fires of hell. Her words began to creep in from the aether. Vile whispers awakening an old demon who stirs and rattles in it's cage, and haunting the dreams of all involved. Her power grew, striving for her objective even from beyond creation. 

Now they stand, The Knight and all his children around the alter as he plays god once again,. and the Brilliant Nova cast forth from the ritual sends  chills through their bodies as she stand before them. Terrible and Mighty she stands her collar and shackles grow brighter than a thousand suns controlling her and empowering her. As she looks over the hordes assembled for the war ahead of them she gives the order, "March."

Rising Tide

The storm dies and our war grows larger.
Stranger tides move in disrupting the plans of old.
As the lonely moon rises returning from it's long orbit.
will this be it? we wonder will the chaos of our worlds subside?
Or will we forever long of this uncommon tide?

I've swam through the abyss, shaken the pillars of heaven.
Walked the fires and seen the grace.
But how do I coax the stars from the sky?
They must come of their own volition.

And what then if these orbits stabilize?
Will it form a binary? will the light shine?
 who knows when the next rendezvous will occur.
because of this i must try

The shot heard round the mind.

And so they came.
Glorious and full of fury

Lost upon the the endless tracks
We donned the cause of righteous fury
Our battle raged for miles.

From the side of tracks I thought victory mine
The terrible train derailed, it's master lost to it's wreckage.
As i turned to my goal, he rose again full of rage and fury.

Burning, the conflagration rose burning away the night.
The combustion threw us from the site
I raced twards my goal and we lay there

Taking in the sight of the battle
and laughter rose from the wreckage
One chain broken we were torn, our minds made up.

Onward til this war is won.

This Task.

The darkness fades our battle won.
But our rest is short.
We three stand looking at our new task.
A foe we have not seen in ages.

The quest to save someone.
In the rubble lies our gear.
And so we set to work.
Our armies to be rebuilt.

A demon caged
The queen to be questioned.
A foe beyond all measure of strength.
And bloody work.

Our chance to take back everything we've lost.
We sleep tonight with bodies of flesh
And wake with bodies of fire.
Burning bright into the night.

We will rise above our ruins.
Looking down at our regrets.
With these fires that will not die,
We will burn away our foe.

And perhaps in this lost war,
Our greatest Nova,
Save not only you,
But save ourselves.

Damnation be Damned.

Of Gods and Demons

Come find me, wandering at the edge of reality
Listen to me, whispering the secrets of your life
Look at me, fading out of the horizon

You need find nothing, this is eternity
Hear the words of your elders, they are but truth
Those images are a poorly made construction

Feel the waves of death wash over your mortality
Hear the pain and suffering with all your strife
See the looming fate descend upon you like a titan

Know my face, do not give into such vanity
Use this sword to fight it's betrayal, it will show you the truth
You are far to important to fall prey to seduction

Wake up, discover that your world is an island
Break through, cut your way out with that knife
Stand up, let it wash over you with all it's totality

My world is whole, this is blasphemy
You will die if you continue this pursuit
Do not force me into repercussion

Breathe in the ashes of what once was Zion
Love the chaos as if it were your wife
This is the true world with all it's irrationality

Forget those words, trust in my sanity
Hearken back to the stories of your youth
That thing at the edge wishes only your destruction

*Insert Name Here*

What happens when we fall?

When we're beaten battered and have given it our all?

Why is it that we hit that wall?

Fearing for our lives we take off running

We escape one fate only to and think ourselves oh so cunning

But we can never stop what is coming

All our lives devoured, lost in that thing's maw

Light fading, air thinning, praying to find it's flaw

head pounding screams gone quiet, a heart that may never thaw

what salvation is there to be had?

When your damnation armors you, ironclad

What holy war can be fought with a god gone mad?

Thoughts on the Abyss

In the black, there is but silence or so they would have you think. But what of those voices you hear, when staring into the abyss? Is it the abyss from where these voices come? Or is it from ourselves? Someone once said the when you stare into the abyss it stares into you, but i wonder if it isn't ourselves staring back out of the abyss. Why would some external force conspire to do what our hearts do so well? A core tenant of Buddhism is that pain arises from desire, but why remove the desire to erase pain, when desire a core component of the human condition. Then too would pain and suffering not be essential to the maintenance of ones soul? Is not pain the fire in which we temper our soul? And what of joy? The quench in which we soothe the fire. But unlike the lucky steel, the soul must be reforged, again and again. Like a moth to the flame, we pursue joy only to be laid low by our sorrows. 

How many I wonder, have been beaten by their sorrow, consumed, destroyed by it. What then, of those lucky enough to never know the true depths to which it will drag you. Oh they think they might, they may offer a hand in ignorance of your plight. With such speed that hand is revoked when they glimpse a mere portion of the darkness, those who do this have not known the true heart of sorrow. There are those who will still try to help of course, ignoring the truth as if it were some falsehood, some creative construct by a weakened mind. Then those "helping" hands begin to do the only thing they truly can, and you are strangled by them.

The Game

Don't you hear the crowd?
Their cheers, the victory chants.
The thrill of the fight flowing through.

Your move is coming, stand proud.
And don't let the lights put you in a trance.
Didn't you see my move?

Of course not, I didn't make one.
I'm just a loser who hasn't the skill to compete.
So I forfeit, take the victory you crave.

Rejoice, your attack has me undone!
Now tell me, isn't the taste of victory sweet?
I'm sorry, I can't hear you from your gave.

Dethroned Kings

We once sat, broken wings, under a shattered sun.

Our armies undone;
A war neither could have won;
Peace if only there was one.

We once were kings;
Oaths bound by sacred rings;
Those too lost, like so many things.

We stood preparing again for combat;
Ignoring what our war had begat;
We never could have foreseen that.

The Thing came, was it something new, or something so old we forgot?

Wings unfurled we fought;
Oblivious to what it sought;
Death was all The Thing brought.

Unprepared for what did ensue;
Far from The Thing we withdrew;
And sought safety far from it's coup.

For our vengeance we brought the flame;
Unaware of what we became;
We found what The Thing sought to reclaim.

My history in brief.

An eternity I have fought.

The struggle through endless hordes.

Battered, broken, always standing.

The Demon and his weapon of Thought.

Whispered in the dark, his venomous words.

A war won at great loss, with fire so astounding.

The Templar, and the Wrath he wrought.

The Demon was his undoing, beaten by the Two-Thirds.

Darkness must exist for those Shining.

Triumvirate we stood determined to defy our lot.

And so sleep came, the resting of guards.

And grew the Darkness beyond Understanding.

There is no enemy, no battle which can be fought.

Our fires die, The Demon can not navigate this land.

Templar's shield trying to hold back the enveloping.

 Weapons drawn we prepare to do all we know.

But how is the destruction your Antithesis sought?

Backs to the dying fire we prepare for a last stand.

Jaded, we try to ignore the lone hole in The Darkness developing.

Is Hope is a luxury The Cursed must forgo?

My Sanctuary

I walked into my room, cobwebs clung to the crates, the smell of a fire long burnt out hung in the air. As I climbed over ruined bookshelves, toppled desks the ash clung to my clothes. I looked down at my soot covered hands. What I saw in that blackness shook me to my bones.

The ruins of my family, all the joy fallen and burnt into nothing. The distant echoes of children playing, The smell perfume filled my nose. The smooth feeling of hair ran through my hand, and through the darkness a light shone. I opened my eyes to find her there, sun dancing through her hair she tilts her head up and we kiss.

I remember this day, the sun rising in our window the smell of her hair. This was a good day. Later in the day we would walk through the woods, as the leaves blew in the wind we placed our dreams in the others hands. A picnic on the forest floor and as the sun forced its way through the trees above it seems as though my wife had become an angel. As she smiled my weight was lifted, and my heart filled with hope.

I tried to hold on to that moment, to keep it close. But the cracks shone through and the darkness returned. until her eyes finally faded from my sight and all I'm left with is the shattered room. The last sanctuary from my war. Even here the fires had burned. I turned over another bookshelf in my anger, and the sound of metal caught my attention, as I raised my lamp I saw it. A faint glimmer of a chain.

I reached into the pile of rubble and pulled on the chain, at the end there hung a pocket watch. I opened it the had long since been smashed and it was missing the hour hand. But the inscription was still there on the inner lid. Tears filled my eyes as I read the words, "I love you." I could still hear the church bells if i closed my eyes.

She glided up the isle the gown flowing all around her. Flowers in her hand and In her hair. I turn to my brothers and they smile. The room grows silent as she draws near. The music turns into a choir as the gods sing her praises. The room fades out of focus and she glows with such beauty. As we look into each other's eyes the only words we can muster are, "I do."

Wiping the tears from my eyes I put the watch into my pocket. Looking down at the remains of my library, I can see my past littering the floor. Nothing remained in that chaos, the fires had done too much. Why did my enemy have to come here? It was all I had left of those days. The ashes of my life clung to me as I went through those photos torn from their bindings. We were so happy, why had this happened?

"Don't turn your back on me." the words tore my sorrow and left anger. I grabbed a book and in one movement turned to my enemy the missile sailed through the air. My Enemy snatched the charred book from the air and opened it. "She was beautiful, I'm sorry this had to happen." the words crept out from underneath his hood like poison, "Your work is not done."

"Will it ever be? You haunt me at every turn." I spoke the sound of gallows in my voice. He merely chuckled, "Do you not remember father? This was my purpose. You are to blame. Is it any surprise that your first born would be the strongest?" I teared up again at the memories of my children's funerals. "You used them to fight me their blood is on your hands."

"My son." I forced through my anguish setting the lamp down and open my arms to embrace. He steps forward through the ashes, ready to take the acceptance he never had. "I am sorry my son, forgive me." I say as the pain cuts through my spine and i sink my brothers dagger into his. We collapsed there together shattering the lamp. The fires would visit my life once more. And as the flames engulfed us, I see her face smiling down on me.

I look down and see her face smiling up at me as we lay in our bed, the rising sun dancing through her hair. This light would not fade, Here I would stay.

Despair

Elusive by nature.
Mysterious by design.
Something to nurture?
Something to resign?

To grow it must endure.
Beaten, scarred beyond repair.
It will be better we assure.
In the end all we have is despair.

The darkness encroaches.
Can anyone come to our aid?
As our end approaches.
The sun begins to fade.

As we look into the brilliance.
We notice it was never there.
Under the moon in our ignorance.
The shadows draw ever near.

Around the fires we huddle growing ever madder.
Cower as others venture into the dark.
Do they seek the the horrors that gather?
Or for the memory of of light they embark?

The coals grow cold.
And the last of our hope fleets.
And we fearing our youth wasted, now grow old.
The others lost despite great feats.

Desire lost in smoldering coals.
Ambition wasted at the gallows.
Memory full of holes.
As the fire dies our soul hollows.